it's 3:42 in the morning. and i awake to our new puppy resting her head on my neck. this means one of three things: she wants to go under the covers, she has to go outside, she wants to play. housetraining this puppy is really something they should give out awards for.. but if they did, i daresay that i would fail to even qualify for honorable mention. on the flip side, I have discovered a wonderful carpet cleaner that i rave about to any housewife i come in contact with.
puppy: i need to go out!
me: (deftly reach for the sock that she's found somewhere in the house and lazily try to entice her with it)
jason: hmmmmmfilibmmmmmm
me: what?
puppy: (looks at jason and cocks her head to one side)
me: jason, are you awake?
jake (our 5-year old lab): loudly yawns
puppy: (begins gnawing on jake's ear)
me: (whisper) stop it!
jason: zsa zsa zsa zsa zsa
puppy: (sticks her nose under the covers and tries to manuever to the end of the bed, jumping over a conglomeration of human legs and the overweight body of her big brother, jake)
me: (fall backwards onto the pillow and instantly enter sleep for the next 92 minutes)
5:14 a.m.
puppy: please take me out!
jake: (now lying on top of the covers rendering me with a 9x9 inch square)
me: (frantic whisper) jake, move!!
jason: mmmmflllllbrrrrrrggggg
me: jason, are you awake?
jason: (rolls over)
me: (whisper) jake, let's go under the covers!!
jake: (makes no movement)
me: (push jake so that he is lying exactly in between jason and i)
jake: (makes no movement)
jason: Kelly! I have, like, not even a foot of space over here!
me: well, i'm trying to make this equal!!
jason: obla obla obla obla
me: jason? are you awake?
jason: (snoring)
puppy: (jumps off the bed and runs downstairs)
Our bedroom is in a loft, so we have no door. The puppy has free reign of the house if we do not oblige and take her out or go and gather her back to bed. Yesterday with free reign of the house she ate three Krispy Kreme donuts, a few pieces of mail, and an ink pen.
me: (quickly grab a sweatshirt and chase after the puppy down the stairs)
we go out, she sniffs every blade of grass in our overgrown yard (is it already spring?) and we go back inside, and back to bed.
puppy: (starts scratching the blanket as if she's trying to dig a hole in the mattress)
me: (push jake back to the center of the bed and try to get comfortable between two dogs and my husband)
puppy: (collapses from exhaustion at the foot of the bed)
me: (look at the clock and relish that it's jason's turn to feed them breakfast in 45 minutes)
jason: did she go?
me: yeah.. hmflibishssssss (as i drift off to sleep)
posted by Kelly @ 3:56:00 PM
6 Comments:
ahhh... So, he was awake?
I love this story. I used to go through this - only with cats. Not to go outside - but panicked because they could see the bottom of their food bowl. Mind you, they had enough food to get through 'til morning. But they'd rather pester us in the middle of the night relentlessly until they get the reassurance of a full food bowl.
Pets - ya gotta love them!
that was hilarious, Kelly! i'm at home sick still with Samuel (who has bronchitis, again) - that was just what I needed. thanks for brightening the day for me.
sick as a dog,
Phillip and Samuel
love it...they're just so cute, u can't resist...[and by them I mean Jake, Sadie and jason...lol]
brilliant! laugh out loud! thanks for this! Did you know that one of my best friends is a dog trainer?! she has excellent tips for housebreaking =) I work for her too.... check out
her site if your interested.
me: hey, wow, look at those cool dog beds at petsmart for only $44.99!
Love it! Aren't puppies the best. If they could only talk it would be just like that.
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