The weekend was one of hellos and hugs and how do you do's. I wish everyone I loved lived nearby so that I could just see them all often and have the conversations I need for what they each represent in my life. It's hard having faraway friends. I realized recently that my best friend and I have never lived in the same city. The distance aches some times.
Settling in the house after painting and unpacking and the already planned vacation. It feels nice to breathe...
I could feel Him close by one night in Scotland. We were in the upstairs loft of a friend's house on the west coast, in a small seaside village called Largs. Sleep was eluding me as I tossed and turned and tried to settle my thoughts, and then it came and hit me like a ton of bricks:
What is your question?
What question?
You want to ask me a question. It has been playing on your heart for a while now.
And so I searched to realize that I do have questions. REAL questions. Large and small that I want the answers to. I mean, don't we all? It's not that I don't have peace. I have felt more at ease in these last few months than I have in years. But the steady guidance leads to veering paths and directions where I am unsure of the goals and outcomes. Why is there always this constant need for us to plan, plan, plan? I've been aware of the conversations with adults, when asking how you are. They want to know you are doing well, following the pathway of success and nice living. Making the smart choices regarding education and finance.
But what about the sacrifice? What about giving certain things up, giving major things up for the building of the Kingdom? What are we willing to sacrifice?
So is that my question, Father? How much will I have to sacrifice? Seeing those words typed gives me hesitancy as self consciousness battles honesty. How far am I willing to go for the sake of the broken, the marginalized, the lost? It's about Christ crucified. Bringing in healing, restoration, LIFE.
Maybe the question is this: Is He really all that to me?
posted by Kelly @ 4:04:00 PM
2 Comments:
i do ask that question too...all the time. It's funny coz deep within we are already sure of the answer. but it's a good way to check our values and perspective... =)
great questions.. what an amazing perspective to take into life.
and let me just say, having about a decade or so head start on you.. amen to your thoughts on "plan, plan, plan.."..
you're asking great questions Kelly.. don't stop exploring.. you're on to something and i wish i hadn't wasted so much time "planning"..
thanks for letting me ask these questions of myself too..
Post a Comment
<< Home