You know, I was gonna get sick or I was gonna get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control, was when and how and where that was going to happen.
So, I made a rope. And I went up to the summit to hang myself.
But, I had to test it, you know. Course. You know me. And the weight of the log snapped the limb of the tree, and I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power. over. nothing.
And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive.
Somehow. I had to keep breathing, even though I had no reason to hope, and all my logic said that I would never see this place again.
So, that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And then, one day that logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, gave me a sail.
And now here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass.
And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island.
And I know what I have to do now. And, I keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
-Cast Away (movie, Tom Hanks)
I'm working on a project where I am searching for quotes. So I went to this website and clicked on the link that would take me to quotes about hope. And this was the first quote. And I just stopped. Stopped everything I was doing and reminded myself to breathe.
This movie came out shortly after I had lost someone in a small plane crash. So when we went to see it, there were scenes that were difficult for me to endure. But these lines struck something with me today.
Obviously, I have never been stranded on a desert island, but you do get to a point in grief where you have to answer the question: Am I going to live or am I going to die? You are so consumed with pain, that of course the thought of taking your own life passes through your psyche. How long it dwells there is up to you.
So you make a choice, or maybe you experience the peace that the character references as a "warm blanket" and you decide to live.
And things change. And things continue to change everyday to the present. But you never forget the grief experience, and you appreciate the ones who were with you, whether physcially present or dimensionally present, because they are the ones whose strength you exhausted and whose strength you stood upon.
And for a while, I have entertained the idea that b/c sin is present in the world, sometimes events occur without any purpose. But I no longer believe that. How can I? In order for God to make all things new, he has to gather the experiences that were full of pain. Experiences that he did not cause, but he can restore. The work of redemption necessitates an encompassing of your whole being, all that has affected and shaped your perception. The result is a new life, a second chance, a restoration beyond what you could have imagined.
So you wait for the tide to come in, remind yourself to breathe, and build a sail.
posted by Kelly @ 11:59:00 AM
8 Comments:
Kelly,
I've just read your last three or four posts. I wanted to encourage you that you are a talented writer. Perhaps the Lord has an avenue under which, or as part of which, you can inspire others to action. I'm sure you already are, though, through this blog. Just wanted to encourage you in the gifts I see as you write.
- Brooke
In order for God to make all things new, he has to gather the experiences that were full of pain. Experiences that he did not cause, but he can restore. The work of redemption necessitates an encompassing of your whole being, all that has affected and shaped your perception. The result is a new life, a second chance, a restoration beyond what you could have imagined.
I have never heard it said so beautifully and truthfully. Thank you, my friend. Praise God for redemption.
kelly,
This was a beautiful post.
In my grieving, my first choice was to simply survive. I am finally at the place where I am ready to hope again.
stark truth through honest thoughts. thanks....
When I read the quote it took me back to those times. I remember the feeling of hopelessness. But your conclusion to build a sail reminded me that God provided a way out. And it reminded that in the future, even when it seems there isn't a way, prepare.
i echo everyone here.. this was a beautiful post, kelly.
and i'm with brooke. you've got quite a story to told, and God gave you a special gift to communicate it.
write on..
~jeff
it's not just the skill with which you write but the poingiency too - you are articulating the hearts of many, thanks. - debby
As you know, I can totally relate.... wow. Thanks for this. You definitely know how to 'hit the nail on the head'. I thank God for your wisdom, sincerity, intensity, passion and exploration.
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