okay, so there have been lots of tearful phone calls. the last one being with my grandfather who told me he was going into hospice and that he will see me again. apparently, he thought he would recover until he found out the diagnosis. single cell carcinoma. small, but spreading rapidly. so small that they could have done a cat scan in december and not have even noticed it. so when grandma had to tell him what was actually wrong he started crying and asked if everyone could come.

"i guess this is the end." (he said it, grandma must have thought it)

when i talked to him, he was crying. he's not some feeble old man. he's always been strong, definitive patriarchal figure of our family. sacrificing everything, even his own education so that all of his kids and grandchildren could attend college. even grandma gained her doctorate in education. and now we are all coming to his bedside to say our goodbyes. in one week, he found out the diagnosis and he could die.

chris is flying in from bosnia. he asked me to bring his black suit.

flights are so expensive and not taking sky miles so i go on saturday instead of thursday evening. most likely it will be two trips to west palm in the next two weeks. one now to say our goodbyes and then another for the funeral.

grandma and grandpa do everything together with other couples. and now she will be one of those little old ladies. all the little old ladies of Temple have been dying lately. this is just grief on so many levels. my grandfather, my mom is losing her dad, grandma is losing her husband.

right now the three daughters and grandma are sitting around his bed everyday from now until whenever. aunt marcia says until forever. and then what?

my family doesn't cry much, but everyone i've talked to lately has been in tears.
all of the grandchildren are flying in this weekend. it's in my subconscious no matter what acitvity i'm doing. this restlessness. couldn't fall asleep, couldn't go back to sleep after waking in the wee hours of the morning.

so i guess, i'm just asking you to pray.. his name is Dynamite Norton

posted by Kelly @ 10:34:00 AM